Spring Formal Debate...Already?

I feel like Jerry and I are pretty lucky that we have not had many clothing dilemmas.  We rarely have to give any kind of advice as the kids are getting dressed or picking out clothes to purchase.  The kids just naturally want to cover everything up when they leave the house, I guess.  Though tonight going to dance might have been the first time Gabby has put on pants since Sunday.  Hey, it is what it is.

This year Emma is in Junior High.  And it is every bit as awful as I remember junior high being when I was in junior high.  Maybe boys experience this too, but I know for a fact that girls do.  People you thought you were friends with call you fat at the lunch table and then the next day want to be friends again.  Best friends find other friends they want to be "best" friends with.  It is awkward for everyone.  Bodies are changing.  Everyone is figuring out who they are and who they want to be, and yes sometimes that changes frequently.  For some this probably is easier to deal with.  Emma is a sensitive child though.  She wears her heart on her sleeve and things affect her deeply.  Like when a friend says they will do something and then they don't, she is convinced they now hate her.

This has all been rough.  For her.  For us as parents.  I know we will survive this crazy time (we will? Right?!?), but it will be an adjustment.  Because, well, it's Junior High.

Tonight, Emma showed us the dress she wanted for her Jr high spring formal.  What can I say, she is also a planner.  After seeing the dress,

I quickly informed her that this wonderful, beautiful, awesome dress...is not a dress for a junior high dance, and that she would need to look for something a little less formal.  "But Mom, it is a Spring FORMAL!"  Uhm, yeah, it is, but formal means something different at 12-15 years old than it does when you are in High School.  

You would've thought that I took her birthday away.  Life is not fair.  Her and her best friend were planning and I was ruining all of it.  How dare I show her other dresses that would work better for junior high.  And the whole thing was pretty awful.  There were tears involved. 

When all was said and done we were able to reason with each other on what would be more appropriate.  We were able to talk about life and how sometimes it can be disappointing.  And we are all going to be able to go to bed knowing a little more about each other.  Because while it is easy to talk about other people changing and figuring out who they are, she is as well.  Her likes and her dislikes may be different today than they will be tomorrow.  But she is strong and she will figure it all out and yes, probably after some tears, come out on the other side of junior high knowing fully who she is.  

Spring formal debate was in full swing here tonight.  It wasn't pretty.  The debate was settled with the reassurance that we would not be buying a dress online but would be going and trying things on in a store anyway.  I look back at how much she has changed in the last few months and it is both exciting and terrifying.  She is becoming strong and independent.  But, isn't that the goal of every parent.  To raise their kids to be strong and have their own opinions?  I am so glad we are reaching that stage, but oh goodness, is it a test of my patience.