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Where Is the Time Going?

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Time. I remember when Emma was very little I was sharing with a lady at church all of my frustrations. And there were a lot. She was a colicky baby. Every. Single. Night. From the hours of 11:00pm to 4:00am she would scream. No matter what I did, she creamed. Change a diaper...still screaming. Bottle...screaming. Walk...screaming. Car ride...screaming. Swaddle, sway, shushing...you got it, she was still screaming. I think those 10 months were one of the darkest parts of my life. I’ve only shared this with a very few people, but one night I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was scared for me. I was scared for Emma. Jerry worked night shift. So I was literally alone with this screaming child. I called my mother on this particular night and told her I was afraid I was going to do something stupid. She encouraged me to get in the car and come to her and she would help. It was 2:00am. I showed up and she took Emma and allowed me to sleep. But man those months were rough. So I am sharing thes
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Surprise! One Big Happy Family

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I still remember where I was when I sent Jerry the first text message about hosting a foreign exchange student.  Siting in Zoup! enjoying a delicious bowl of lobster bisque.  A friend posted something on Facebook looking for a home for a student.  This was around the end of November (great soup weather). I immediately thought of another friend that I knew had hosted a student before.  So I reached out to him and asked if he would be interested and if so, I would happily make the connection.  Sadly, he was unable.  But, then I jokingly sent a screenshot to Jerry and said something along the lines of "Hey, maybe this is a good step towards that foster care thing we have wanted to do."  How did I think he would respond?  I'm not entirely sure.  I don't think I expected much.  His response, "That sounds awesome.  Contact her and see what it is all about." Uhm, ok, sure.  So In the middle of Zoup! I give the local coordinator (who happens to be my former neig
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I Didn’t Believe Them!

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In many ways, for a lot of years, Emma has come across as a teenager. She looks older than she is and in many ways she also acts older than she is. Well, now she is officially a teenager. 13! I can ask and wonder where time went, but that’s not the point of this post. There are many many mothers than have gone before me into the life of having a teenager. And many of them have shared with me the woes that come with the age. I didn’t believe them. Not Emma. She wasn’t going to get testy or angsty. She wasn’t going to be disrespectful. Not Emma. Let me just state that I know this is absurd. Because why would I assume that my child would not have all the normal emotions and feelings of every other child? Let me just tell you about her birthday. She woke up and immediately asked when she would get her presents. No big deal. That’s what makes birthdays fun. However, for the first time ever, we decided to give a gift card. A gift card to Amazon. And not a tiny one. Honestly, I was exci
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Another Year Around the Sun

Today is the day. A birthday. Not a special birthday. Not 35 and not 40. Not monumental. Just 37. And if I’m being completely honest, I’m not feeling it. I’m in a funk. I’ve had a lot going on so maybe I am ready for a routine again. Who knows what the cause of my funk is, but it’s not my cup of tea. I’ve had a lot of medical issues in the last few months and that isn’t helping. I have learned I don’t handle stress well and as a result of stress and ibuprofen for my knee have been dealing with numerous ulcers. No fun. As I start another year around the sun, I can’t help but think about what I am going to do with the next 365 days that I pray God gives me. So I’m going to write my thoughts here to hold myself accountable. 1. Find joy in each and every day. Even the really busy, crazy ones. 2. Commit to not taking my stress out on the ones I love the most. 3. Work to find stress relievers. Practice better self-care. 4. Spend more time in conversation with friends. 5. Spend mo
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Sometimes It Is Okay To Quit

"Don't give up." "Just make sure you finish." "Don't stop until you are done." "Don't ever give up." At first glance, these statements are all very true.  They all make sense and are important life lessons.  In life we should always give our all.  We should not go into something with the intention of giving up or halfway completing a task.  Kids are notorious for wanting to quit things.  They realize doing something they thought would be fun, maybe isn't as fun as they once thought, so they want to quit.  They realize their friends are not involved, so they want to quit.  As parents it is our job to instill the idea into our children the importance of sticking with something.  But I have to wonder if there are times that it is okay to quit.  Are there times that it is okay to say "Nope, I'm done"?  Are there times that it is okay to say "I quit!" As a mother, I have used the "Don't give
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#becauseofyou

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A few days ago I was watching something on the Hallmark channel and a commercial came on that really made me think.  The commercial was for the website  Because of You . This is what the first few lines on their website state " Everything you say and do has an impact on those around you. Because of you, people can feel empowered and loved, but also insecure and hurt. Even the smallest words and actions, whether online or in person, can have a big effect. Before you say or do something, think about how you might make others feel." As I was watching this commercial there were people sharing stories that were both positive and negative.  But it got me thinking of all of the people that have had an impact on my life.  There are so many.  Too many to list.  But there are also some that really stand out as making me who I am today.  For good or bad.  Ever since I saw this commercial I have been thinking about all of these people.  Many of which I have never taken the time to s
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The Journey Continues

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Some of you reading this may know me personally and some of you may not.  For those that know me, you most likely know that one of the things I have struggled with the most in my life is my weight.  I remember getting a physical in 8th grade because I wanted to try out for the volleyball team and being told that I weighed 270lbs.  I am only 5 foot 1 so this was not a good weight for a 15 year old. And I am pretty sure that is when my desire to be thin started.  I dieted.  I binged.  Yes, I purged.  It was awful.  I was willing to do anything to fit in.  To look normal.  But it came with a cost.  I messed my body up so bad.  That entire time in my life was awful. Then I found the love of my life, got married, and had babies.  The highest weight that I have ever seen on the scale is 310.  I seemed to be okay with it though.  I was healthy other than being obese.  Then my mother died.  And she died from years of not taking care of her body.  Years of not eating anything healthy.  Year
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