When the Titles Collide
I have a lot of titles. Sister, daughter, friend, Aunt, Cousin, Wife, Mom, Pastor, etc. Each of these titles play an important role in my life. I live my life a certain way, because I am a daughter. I respond to certain things in life differently as a wife than I would if I was not married. Titles and the roles associated with them are important.
And mostly any of us can have many titles or roles and they may never conflict or collide. But, sometimes that happens. The two titles I have the collide the most are actually the title of my blog page. Pastor and Mom. Some days these things go together well. Or one does not have much of an affect on the other. Other days it seems like the two worlds collide in intense ways.
Enter today. Now let me be clear that I will never share names or personal information about church members, but I will at times share stories that I have been given permission to share with names removed.
Today started out like any other day. Woke up. Started getting ready. Received a phone call. School was on a 2 hour delay. Okay, we can work with this. I still needed to get the kids up and ready close to normal time, because I still needed to go to the office. While I was in the middle of doing Gabby's skin care regimen (which takes about 35 minutes on a good morning) the phone rang again. No longer a 2 hour delay, but school was now canceled. Now, don't get me wrong. I am completely okay with this decision. It was icy. My dog fell up the steps. I would rather those in charge of my children for 7 hours a day to be safe rather than sorry. Good job, administration!
But no school meant that I had to change the game plan, because I still needed to work. So I set them up with rules and I headed out the door. I told them I would leave the office a bit early and make sure they had help making lunch. However, time got away from me and I was not on schedule to leave early. But then the phone rang again.
It was a church member. They were calling about a family member that was in the hospital in a pretty serious condition. After that, I left the office, made sure my kids were fed, and left for the hospital. I prayed. Sent messages to the Elders to request the specific prayers of the family. Then came home.
I received word a few hours later that the family had received some bad news during the latest test. The church member would not have much life left. They said they would call me when they wanted me to come back over. I encouraged them to reach out and I could be there anytime. And I meant it. Then the call came. And I inhaled some French toast for dinner. But here is the part where the titles collided. I told my kids where I needed to go and was prepared to head out the door and Kota said, "Mom, are you going to be able to read to me tonight?" I apologized and told him that no, I would not be reading to him tonight. He became very sad and I felt torn.
This family needed me to be there with them at the hospital and my child needed me to be here to read to him. It took me longer than I had planned to make it out the door because I took the time to explain to Kota that what I was about to do was important and sacred and that I was letting God use me. He seemed to be okay with that.
It is the truth. Unfortunately a lot of times families do not contact me when they or another member are in the hospital or when there is a need. Strangely, or maybe not, this is something that I do not often hear my male colleagues say. It seems that because I am a mother people do not want to burden me with taking time away from my children. But it is all sacred to me.
I am a Pastor. I want to be there for church members when there is a need. Yes, I missed out on reading to Kota tonight, but I will read to him tomorrow and the next night and many next nights after that. Tonight I spent time in a room, with a family, waiting for a loved one to transition, and it was sacred. Sad? Yes. But, I know that when this church member passes that they will see the face of God and that God has prepared a place for them, just like there is a place prepared for all of us. Walking this journey with folks is one of the most important parts of my job. One of the most important parts of the title. Pastor.
Sometimes Pastor and Mom collide. Sometimes MOM takes priority. When my kids are sick, I take time off to nurse them back to health. When my kids have events, I try my hardest to be there. Sometimes PASTOR takes priority. When someone is near the end of life (and I am given notice), I will be there. When I am in worship, I am Pastor and dad takes over the primary parenting role.
The roles rarely collide. Sometimes they do. I take each situation, and day for that matter, as it comes. At the end of the day, I will rest well knowing that I made the right decision. Though not always easy, I believe God will guide me in the right direction. That doesn't mean that there is not often guilt associated with the direction I went or decision I made. But I still trust it was right, and when all is said and done, sometimes a piece of ice cream cake doesn't hurt.
And mostly any of us can have many titles or roles and they may never conflict or collide. But, sometimes that happens. The two titles I have the collide the most are actually the title of my blog page. Pastor and Mom. Some days these things go together well. Or one does not have much of an affect on the other. Other days it seems like the two worlds collide in intense ways.
Enter today. Now let me be clear that I will never share names or personal information about church members, but I will at times share stories that I have been given permission to share with names removed.
Today started out like any other day. Woke up. Started getting ready. Received a phone call. School was on a 2 hour delay. Okay, we can work with this. I still needed to get the kids up and ready close to normal time, because I still needed to go to the office. While I was in the middle of doing Gabby's skin care regimen (which takes about 35 minutes on a good morning) the phone rang again. No longer a 2 hour delay, but school was now canceled. Now, don't get me wrong. I am completely okay with this decision. It was icy. My dog fell up the steps. I would rather those in charge of my children for 7 hours a day to be safe rather than sorry. Good job, administration!
But no school meant that I had to change the game plan, because I still needed to work. So I set them up with rules and I headed out the door. I told them I would leave the office a bit early and make sure they had help making lunch. However, time got away from me and I was not on schedule to leave early. But then the phone rang again.
It was a church member. They were calling about a family member that was in the hospital in a pretty serious condition. After that, I left the office, made sure my kids were fed, and left for the hospital. I prayed. Sent messages to the Elders to request the specific prayers of the family. Then came home.
I received word a few hours later that the family had received some bad news during the latest test. The church member would not have much life left. They said they would call me when they wanted me to come back over. I encouraged them to reach out and I could be there anytime. And I meant it. Then the call came. And I inhaled some French toast for dinner. But here is the part where the titles collided. I told my kids where I needed to go and was prepared to head out the door and Kota said, "Mom, are you going to be able to read to me tonight?" I apologized and told him that no, I would not be reading to him tonight. He became very sad and I felt torn.
This family needed me to be there with them at the hospital and my child needed me to be here to read to him. It took me longer than I had planned to make it out the door because I took the time to explain to Kota that what I was about to do was important and sacred and that I was letting God use me. He seemed to be okay with that.
It is the truth. Unfortunately a lot of times families do not contact me when they or another member are in the hospital or when there is a need. Strangely, or maybe not, this is something that I do not often hear my male colleagues say. It seems that because I am a mother people do not want to burden me with taking time away from my children. But it is all sacred to me.
I am a Pastor. I want to be there for church members when there is a need. Yes, I missed out on reading to Kota tonight, but I will read to him tomorrow and the next night and many next nights after that. Tonight I spent time in a room, with a family, waiting for a loved one to transition, and it was sacred. Sad? Yes. But, I know that when this church member passes that they will see the face of God and that God has prepared a place for them, just like there is a place prepared for all of us. Walking this journey with folks is one of the most important parts of my job. One of the most important parts of the title. Pastor.
Sometimes Pastor and Mom collide. Sometimes MOM takes priority. When my kids are sick, I take time off to nurse them back to health. When my kids have events, I try my hardest to be there. Sometimes PASTOR takes priority. When someone is near the end of life (and I am given notice), I will be there. When I am in worship, I am Pastor and dad takes over the primary parenting role.
The roles rarely collide. Sometimes they do. I take each situation, and day for that matter, as it comes. At the end of the day, I will rest well knowing that I made the right decision. Though not always easy, I believe God will guide me in the right direction. That doesn't mean that there is not often guilt associated with the direction I went or decision I made. But I still trust it was right, and when all is said and done, sometimes a piece of ice cream cake doesn't hurt.
Comments
Post a Comment